Tools in the Self-Improvement Toolbox
Self-Compassion
One of the most effective tools in our toolbox is to learn to be compassionate to ourselves. That’s why I highly recommend Dr. Kristin Neff’s outstanding book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
You can also learn a lot about self-compassion from Neff’s excellent website. I encourage you to fully explore her site and take time to actually participate in some of the exercises under the Practices section. The guided meditations are wonderful; my favorite is Soften, Soothe, Allow.
Some people have told me that they find Neff’s voice a little difficult to listen to (I don’t, but to each their own, right?) so I recommend also looking at the website of Neff’s research partner, Chris Germer. He also has Soften, Soothe, Allow and a whole host of other helpful meditations.
ACT – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
The first and best place to start is Russ Harris’s The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living. This is an approachable, easy way to understand and apply ACT concepts to your life immediately. If you’d like a shorthand version of The Happiness Trap, read The Illustrated Happiness Trap.
Dr. Harris also has some great 3-minute animated videos that help to explain some fundamentals of ACT. My favorites are The Struggle Switch and
Internal Struggles.
You can also go to this page for more short, helpful videos.
The best movie about emotions ever made. Really.
Inside Out is by far the best movie about the importance of feeling and using all of our emotions ever made. Of course, it may be the only movie that fits that bill, too, but work with me here. Starring Amy Poehler, Inside Out is a research-based, feel-good story that will be sure to have you laughing (and maybe a little bit of crying) throughout. A MUST prescription for all of my clients!
And Inside Out 2 comes in a close second to the original! It adds Anxiety, Ennui, Envy, and Embarrassment to an already stellar cast of emotions.
Social Anxiety
Ellen Hendriksen is funny, knowledgeable, and knows how to write an book that’s approachable for all of us. Geared toward the person who struggles with social anxiety, How To Be Yourself is a must-read for both the general public and clinicians.